I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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