I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
