Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
