I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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