We won't sleep together?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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