We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
