Buhtt sex?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
