I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I think people are normalizing furries
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
