Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
