just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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