somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I feel like abortions should bother me more
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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