I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize