im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize
