I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
