Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
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