why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
