Me. At least after what I've been through.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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