if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
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