what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
