If i come over, it means nothing
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
