Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
