I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Randomize
