Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Two words: blizzard sex
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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