So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize