So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
