highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
