Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
