how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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