Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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