I have demons in me.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
you will always have a special place in my vag
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
