I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
