I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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