So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
