and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
