i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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