Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
