this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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