do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
You made out with two different species that night
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize