I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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