don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
