hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Randomize
