i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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