just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize