I wanna passion pit in your ass
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
