you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
