So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
