We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
