Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
