He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
