your parents love me but you hate me
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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