We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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