she looked like the before picture.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
