I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
