She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Thank you for not boning my boss.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
