As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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