Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Randomize
