Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
