i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
