Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
